Sorting Feelings
by Xenostatica
Summary: Hawke has tried to come to grips with her feelings for Fenris, but after all this time still unable to. Varric tries to get the details of the romance while Aveline just tries to get the truth. A few others appear just to cause a scene.


All characters and places that are written about are owned by BioWare. The Hawke character is the MC and can be projected in many different lights as for the purpose of the game. I have simply projected the Hawke that I used in my game to write this story.

It makes mention of most of the characters and while uses the relationship of Fenris and Hawke/ F, I tried to reveal the interaction that I felt the character might have had at some point when dealing with her relationship issues.

The two friendships most focused on are Varric's and Aveline's.

Hawke sat quietly in her room. She had been rather childish about the whole situation. She had initiate the whole thing with the flirting in the beginning and then later with the pursuit of companionship. Why was she surprised about what happened after everything? He probably hadn't truly been ready for that kind of relationship, he had never attempted to try before, so she must of pushed it on him. The problem is it had been months, years since that night. She made all effort to make it seem like it hadn't affected her, drowning herself into politics and lending out her services to the less able but in the end when she returned home her mind set on him.

"Who are you kidding, kid?" Varric had enter her room without any warning, the red headed, no bearded dwarf came in with a consoling look on his face.

"Varric, manners! What if I had been naked?" she tried to joke with him as she got up to greet her closest friend by hugging him tight.

"Then I would be able to say I could die happy seeing the famous Hawke bare all for me," he grinned evilly, "It would make a great story if I didn't know how jealous Bianca would get." He patted the cross bow gun that sat on his back with a gentleness, "She gets touchy about other women."

"But I'm not a woman, I'm Hawke," she laughed and patted his shoulder. "What brings you to my manor and to my room? Since I know it isn't to seduce the love sick puppy here."

"I don't see any pups but I do see a girl that needs a good drink," he said as he grabbed on to her wrist.

"Oh…" Hawke wasn't fond of drinking, she could end up in interesting situation when her inhibitions were blocked and unfortunately she had before. In fact it had been all Varric's suggestions before, she became wary of her companion before her, "Varric, it was bad the last time we all got drunk…Isabella…"

"I'll keep an eye on you, she won't get you into the room alone again, I swear on my beard," he said with a wide grin. "Not that, I wouldn't enjoy that sight, I mean Hawke you are a beautiful woman and it is a wonder why your bed is so cold." He eyed the currently made bed, he made a sound of disapprove and raised an eyebrow at the bed roll that she had folded in the corner.

"Varric, please I just want…" she tried to pull away but the red headed dwarf was strong and quick. She could attempt to get away but it might mean she would have a broken wrist as he had a hold of her in a blink of an eye.

"No, brooding, he does it enough for everyone," he already had her down the stairs when Bodahn was walking up with some paldrins. "Besides the only way I get any details and juicy gossip about your life is when I liqueur you up!"

"Bodahn, it is a pleasure as always," Varric greeted the dwarf that had been working on some of Hawke's armors, he was now juggling the pieces as he tried to figure out where to set up the armors.

"Thank Andraste, that someone has gotten the nerve up to take my mistress out for some kind of interaction," the dwarf cheered Varric on as he got Hawke out the door. Her last attempt was holding onto the door frame with her free hand but found this useless as the last tug freed her and she was dragged along.

She was resigned to her fate that awaited her at the Hanged Man. She actually dreaded entering that bar and mind you it was not because of her now earned status in life but the fact that things happened there far too much for her to control. She was a born leader, maybe because she was the eldest but she did not handle being led around very well, in fact she often left a situation if she thought it possible she could lose control. This is why he had completely thrown her for a loop because she really thought she could win him over.

"Hey!" Isabela came up and grabbed Hawke's other wrist and they guided her to Varric's favorite spot. "Well let us drink to the fun of the night! May we all lose inhibitions and sleep in a large orgy!"

"I'll drink to us having fun and you with Hawke in a warm bed," Varric said with a laugh.

Isabella hugged in close to Hawke, she couldn't figure if Isabela was trying to seduce her or just liked the attention and awkwardness it brought to her, maybe both? She shifted and wiggled away from Isabella.

"COME ON!" Isabella said with a chuckle, "You haven't had anything in a long time at least let me break that celibate strike that you seem to be enjoying."

"I'm not enjoying anything," Hawke sighed and gulped down the whole mug of rum she had just been served. It was warm and burned going down, but it made her tummy gurgle, what did she have to lose? Other then her lunch.

"Varric, she needs something between those sultry legs," Isabela thumbed at Hawke, "Women get grumpy once they tasted something and it is taken away… like chocolate…alcohol…se…."

Hawke clapped her hands over Isabella's mouth, "Don't you start on that. You will get the group here riled up and then what will happen? Last time…"

"Last time…" Isabela sighed, "Last time I got your belt off, if Varric hadn't come to rescue you, I would have had you in such a pleasant place that you wouldn't have noticed him being gone."

Varric chuckled and sighed, "Isabela, come now, the girl got it rough." He took a swig and signed for another round. "I'm curious Hawke, why?"

"Varric…" Hawke glared at him for a moment and sighed. "Who knows?" She slammed her head onto her hands that had knocked over the mug that she had emptied.

"You know," Isabela grinned, "So… what's he like?"

"You know him, Isabela," Hawke stared at the mug that was placed before her and put the rim to her lips.

"That's not what I mean!" She grinned at Hawke evilly. "Come on what is that naked elf body like?"

Hawke almost spit out the sip she had just taken, "Not modest at all are you, Izzie darling?"

Isabella grinned and leaned forward making her cleavage as visible as possible, "Modest is for those who don't know how to play… and I love to play so modesty gets in the way."

"Why not go try and sleep with him?" Hawke gulped down the second mug, she told herself that she wouldn't drink more then those two and when the third mug was before her, she turned and glared at Varric.

He simply shrugged at her as he fisted two mugs and listened to the conversation.

"Oh never mind!" Isabella got up and ran off.

"Hmm, that isn't like her, she is pretty persistent about getting what she wants," Varric said as he placed one mug on the table and slid it away, "Drink up, Sunshine, you need to be smiling and happy…" His eyes got wide when he looked out to the hall way.

"Get down under the table, sunshine," Varric growled quickly, "This will be over quick." He pushed Hawke under the table literally, she got a panic attack as her friend shoved her down.

The table was not comfortable underneath. The height of the floor to under the table was made for dwarf legs so a woman over five foot was extremely uncomfortable as she had to curl up and crawl around under there for her to hide in anything that would resemble comfort. She was scared that one of the nobles or someone with power was there to cause trouble. It wasn't uncommon for them to go hire someone at The Hanged Man to cause a bit of mayhem for another official or guards.

"Look who showed up!" Isabela was giggling and the sigh sound was familiar to Hawke but she wasn't sure who it was because she couldn't see them.

"Did they really? Varric, you know all the news," the voice was extremely familiar and Hawke sat there completely red with embarrassment.

"Did who what?" Varric acted innocent.

"Did he touch her?" Anders sounded slightly angry.

"Blondie, if he did she let him," Varric sounded annoyed, "Have a drink and you will feel great afterwards. Isabela, get us the special."

Anders sighed, "I don't really drink…"

"You know I have been hearing that excuse lately," Varric said but when Hawke heard Isabela's boots she knew that the drinks were there. "To us! All of us lonely and in need of a good time…"

Anders grumbled something, but Hawke couldn't hear it with all the noise that was coming through the floor boards.

After a while Hawke had concluded that she needed to make herself comfortable under the table and was nodding off when she heard the thump that made her bump her head as she tried to jump up.

"Alright Isabella get Blondie out of here," Varric directed but helped her get Anders out of the room.

"He can sleep it off in my room, plus I can have a little fun," Isabela's chuckle was a clue that she was not going to be nice to the poor boy.

"Let him be," Varric said and they were gone.

This allowed Hawke to stretch out under the table and pop some of her joints. She did not dare leave for fear someone else would come.

"Varric?" his voice sounded angry and the sound of someone moving stuff around made Hawke nervous, he then thought aloud, " he should return in a moment those drinks are still chilly."

Hawke tensed up and watched as his feet stood before her. She tried not to make a noise or breath. He didn't need to know that she was there. He didn't know about her waiting for him just to come to her and rescue her from the heartache that he had caused. She listened as he ordered several drinks at once, was that all for him? She listened to the footsteps and then the sound of quick movement.

"Fenris, you're here?" Isabela said in her usual purr but sounding slightly surprised, she was not a woman that would show she had been caught off guard. The rogue recovered quickly, "So did you come here to mull over something?" She paused, considering. "Or maybe someone?"

Fenris shifted to face the direction of her voice, "What are you taking about Isabela?" He sounded annoyed as he continued, "Varric wanted to talk about something and left me a note on my door, I am just obliging him."

"Is that really it? You aren't going to have a drink?" there was another set of footsteps walking in as she continued to speak, "Oh, you already order for us, how sweet… You know buy me a little dinner and I would oblige you in any need necessity…"

The sound that followed actually scared Hawke, she was blind to what was happening around and above her and the only clue to the events were the scuffling sounds of feet moving quickly. This was soon followed with Isabela laughing.

The huffing came from Fenris and he growled at her, "Don't touch me."

"Hmm, seems like you are a little slow to make such a demand from me," she sounded as if her fingers were on her lips.

Hawke was trying not to pay attention, she had actually curled up to the far corner of the table leg and had forced to keep her eyes shut in hopes of no one noticing her there.

"There is no place for such useless emotions in my mind or heart," he hissed at her.

"Hm? Oh really? Poor Hawke, she was just something you had to indulge in for once, huh?" She said it carefully. "You wouldn't mind if I soothed her then would you? Since there is no place for her or that useless emotion in your heart."

"Isabela," Varric's voice was harsh. "Fenris, you came here quicker then I thought you would…"

"I had been out," Fenris had struggled for an answer to Varric's comment, he seemed to have been caught off guard with Isabela's comment.

"Yes, that is why I left the note on the door," Varric shrugged off the previous conversation those two were having. "So you seem to be out more often, take up a job?"

"No, just gathering information for myself," Fenris refrained from saying much more.

"Why would you need that?" Varric said, Hawke could hear him gulping his drink. He had placed a hand under the table and stroked Hawke's hair to comfort her in some manner.

She assumed that he would respond with a shrug, eye Varric warily and maybe give him an more details after he took a drink. This is how it had been when they were on journeys. They would to set up camp somewhere and Varric and Fenris often ended up talking history and other stories, many dealing with Fenris' previous life. The life he still couldn't forget and he let rule over him. She sighed and laid her cheek on Varric's hand.

Fenris then spoke, his voice often commanded attention, "I had heard rumors of some people having grudges that they could act on. I was just watching…"

Varric cut in, "So you assume that she can't take care of herself?"

Fenris shifted, "Didn't let me finish, Aveline thinks the rumors might be good and…"

"Why go to you? Fenris, the only thing that you and Aveline have in common is that mages should be locked up and watched," Varric almost spat out the words.

"I am just following the tips and as much as we don't get along all the time we have one thing in common and we both agree to disagree for that sake," the mug hit the table and made Hawke jump a little.

"She isn't a thing," Varric grunted out, "She is an apostate and she has lived with the fear of being captured, killed, tormented, or worse…" There was a pause and Varric took his hand back, "You have only seen Hawke after much of her struggle. There are those of us who know the woman as more."

"I understand that her plight was difficult and she is quite capable to handle herself but Varric, she can be naive to those around her. She often assumes the best in people and …." he stopped a moment, "I need more drink and not here… I have said more…but this is not the place nor the time."

"You know elf, you know nothing of the girl that sits at home and cries, who misses her parents, who struggles everyday to live for others, not because she wants to, but because her family would want her to," Varric sounded angry, "She is use to pain but that doesn't mean that people should make her feel it constantly. Go on, get out of here…"

Fernis had gotten up to leave but his footsteps stopped after a moment, "You may have seen what she went through but I will say that I am the one most familiar with her and the pain that she suffered. I don't need to say anything other then that, it was my choice."

Varric didn't move but his voice had deepen and became dark, "You made your choice because you are selfish and know nothing of what it is to have someone like her care for you. She hurts no one, not even those that betray her…"

Isabela shifted in her seat, "Hey I don't appreciate that stab at me. I came back to her, didn't I? She is my friend and in the end I stood with her."

She could hear nothing from above her and got nervous with the whole situation.

"Oh puppy!" Merill came in to the tense situation.

Fenris growled at her, "I am no dog."

"But the way that you…" Merill tried to clarify her comment.

"Quiet you, there is nothing of that sort going on and even if it was it has nothing to do with you, blood mage," he growled and left the room.

"Did I mess up again?" Merill was clueless and unaware of the tension.

"No, Daisy, you didn't do anything," he reached down for Hawke and tugged at her.

Hawke took that as a sign to get up from under the table. She struggle to get out from her position she had been in. She was off balance a little and her legs had fallen asleep but she managed to pull herself onto a chair.

Merill looked very confused as she watched Hawke come from under the table, "Oh you were playing a game! Fenris must of lost and got angry."

Isabela broke out into laughter and Varric soon joined her, "Yes…that's it."

Merill came and sat at the table, "But Hawke if you won, shouldn't you be happy if you won?"

Isabela and Varric looked over at Hawke who was forcing a smile on her face, "You're right Merill…I just don't feel great so I am going to go on home…" She got up slowly and steadied herself with the chair. She would walk out of this mess with her head held high. "Good Night."

When Isabela rushed her, but in answer to the motion Hawke threw up her barrier. She was not going to let them do anything to get her feeling any more humiliated then she was already was.

"Hawke?" Donnic was on patrol with a few of the other guards. "It is dangerous out here even for the Hero, one can't be too careful…" He stopped talking when he saw her face, "Aveline is home… why not just go over…"

"It's fine, Donnic, I'll just go straight home, I promise… just don't tell anyone that you saw me like this," Hawke smiled as she felt the tears sliding down her cheeks and she wiped them away quickly and moved into the shadows away from the guards.

When she walked into the house her hound was waiting for her, he laid on the carpet before the fire and wagged his nub as she dragged herself past him and patted his head as she continued her way to the library. The sudden banging on the door snapped her back and she ran to answer it in fear that whoever it was knocking was going to wake up the whole house.

"Yes?" Hawke answered the door warily and was caught off guard when the person grabbed her and pulled her outside.

"Alright Hawke," Aveline voice was stern and she had Hawke pinned to the outside door frame. The red head captain of the guard was strong and very persuasive when it came to situations that dealt with negotiation of her men, but girl talk was not her strong point, "why did my husband feel it appropriate to get off his routine and tell me…" she stopped and stared at Hawke's eyes, "By Andraste, he was right you have been crying. I thought he might have been exaggerated so that I would get out of the barriacs…"

Hawke had wanted to struggle against her but she knew better, this woman could overwhelm her in an instant and she couldn't use her magic against her, "Please Aveline, I managed to get away…"

"Get away from what?" she raised her brow, the guard side of her flashed in her eyes, "Hawke if you are in trouble then I must know so that I can help you."

"If you consider a broken heart trouble then sure but I really doubt that," Hawke shrugged and waited for the information to hit Aveline.

"Inside we go," she didn't put Hawke down, in fact she was dragging her friend in to her own house. Securing the door and keeping hold of Hawke seemed no hard feat for the Captain. Once sure it was safe, she took Hawke to the library. As she tried to shut the door to the library the hound forced himself in and past Aveline. "Ugh, of course, honorable warrior."

Hawke had crumpled to the ground as she hadn't caught her footing when Aveline had let her go, but this seemed to please her hound and it curled around her and drifted quickly off to sleep. His snoring was the only sound for a while as Aveline got comfortable on the floor across from Hawke.

In her armor Aveline was rather intimidating but her in her tunic, vest and pants, she looked quite normal. Her red hair was striking and softened the often stern looking woman's face. It gave her a level of femininity that could only be achieved with years of stern teaching and heavy work.

"So why were you at The Hanged Man?" she started off easy.

"Varric dragged me there," Hawke sighed and leaned on her hound, "He thought I needed to be loosened up and get drunk. That is no surprise as he is a dwarf… and well Isabela…"

"Hawke, really you got kidnapped by a dwarf and a extremely over sexualized pirate rouge?" Aveline sighed.

"It doesn't help when everyone is plotting against me," she sighed as she tried to explain it. "I have done my best, Aveline, really I try not to let it bother me and even with as busy as I am…"

"Hawke, love isn't easy," Aveline frowned at her friend who seemed lost right now.

"It has been a long time and I just…" Hawke looked up at her ceiling and tried not to cry. "Maybe you're all right about me…the mage I am and all… emotions, dreams… they can be extremely difficult to control but here I am, but now that I did something that I can't control, all it took was …"

"Oh shut up," Aveline glared at her, "You are an apostate but that doesn't mean you can't control yourself. if you had at any point lost it, trust me, that I would have taken you in or killed you myself. That is a promise there."

Hawke chuckled weakly, "Aveline I am just saying that…"

"Hawke, you were there for me when I was being a little girl," she sighed and put her hands on her cheeks as she felt herself turning red. "You helped me a lot and I wasn't even completely forth right with you."

"Aveline, I slept with him," Hawke blurted it out tired of everyone assuming.

The captain of the guard started choking on air as she had breathed too quickly, "What?"

"I slept with him," Hawke turned and stared at her sleeping hound.

"Anders or Fenris?" Aveline asked quietly.

"WHAT?" Hawke turned to her friend with a raised brow.

"Or both, I mean it is your choice, Hawke," Aveline said unsure of the situation.

"Anders? Oh no, never, he is just a friend who shares the same issues as I have, mages tend to either stick together or fight, we just get along," Hawke said with her face scrunched up.

There was a sigh of relief from Aveline, "So I did pick the right guy for the job then?"

Hawke glared at her as she remember the conversation Fenris and Varric had, "Yes, apparently you did get yourself the right watch dog…" she shook her head, "I know you are trying to watch over me but really…"

"Hawke, you are too trusting," Aveline said with a sigh, "He is just following up on some plots for me because my men are stretched as they are and in return he gets a little coin and I can keep people away from the manor."

"So you took care of him, that's good," Hawke smiled softly, "At least someone can watch over him."

"Don't you think I don't know that you are teaching him to read," Aveline chuckled. "Teacher and student, that is a whole lot of trouble you know."

"I was just trying to show him that he can better himself with no fear of losing any of himself," Hawke struggled to figure out how to respond to this whole situation. She hadn't really talked about the relationship at all, not that there is much to talk about, it had been one night together and it had scared him off and he just didn't talk of it so out of respect neither did she.

Aveline sighed softly, "Hawke, you can't just let it go this is who you are. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You know no way to lie, you are so honest it gets you in trouble and we love you like that. This is not like you at all." She shifted her weight and now hugged onto her knee and stared at her friend, this was a delicate situation but she couldn't coddle her friend that was not what she needed, "Hawke, just tell me what you want and we'll go from there."

Hawke sighed softly and remembered everything it flashed back to her so quickly she could feel the stinging in her eyes as the tears weld up, "Where to begin? There isn't anywhere to begin. I think it was all my fault really I started the flirting. It was back and forth for a while and then after I offered to give him the reading lessons, yes, that is probably it." She paused and smiled weakly, "We just got to know each other a bit… Aveline, you know that I am careful about who is close to me."

"Hawke this is probably why this is so hard for you," she stretched out on the carpet and laid out her hand and shifted so she could layout so that she could rest on herself.

"Yes, that is true, I may be naive about a lot of things but since my family and all the pain I don't try to allow others too close," Hawke scratched her hound behind the ears. "So we got close and he seemed to be the one hurting more than me. I thought I could help make him feel better."

"Oh I am sure that you did that," Aveline chuckled, "He is a man for pete's sake. I'm sure you relieve tension that he didn't even know he had. I am actually quite shocked that he would allow you to even touch him."

Hawke raised an eyebrow, this was one of the only times she remembered hearing Aveline talk in such a manner, she was usually very professional about everything. She understood her friend was trying to make her comfortable with talking about the situation, she would oblige her as she was out of her comfort zone, "Aveline, I know that you two don't really get along…"

"Hawke this isn't about my inability to compromise with someone who is stubborn and unchanging, this is about you hurting," she stopped Hawke from apologizing for her emotions.

"It was just a weird situation," she meet her friend's eyes. "I felt like I needed it. I wanted him near me no matter his hatred for mages or the fact that him and my brother hadn't really gotten along. It was about the way he made my heart thump." She chuckled weakly as she thought about it, they argued about mages and her apostate nature and yet at no point had he attempted to turn her in, "It was like I could trust him, really trust him, and in a way I still can. The only reason you all know something happened was because of me really. You all knew I was helping him so something must happen, right?"

Aveline stopped glaring at Hawke and just thought for a moment. She had known Hawke for many years now and considered this woman family, even with her being a mage in all, in fact that didn't even bother her anymore because she had known this woman to be stronger than any temptation, but she hadn't known the loneliness that the woman before her felt. She often laughed off any issues and simply figured helping others was the best so to actually see that she could be a little selfish was relieving, she was human. She chuckled a little and watched Hawke petting the dog, "So you feel terrible because you want someone?"

Hawke nodded weakly.

Aveline let out a heartfelt laugh, "Hawke, you can't Andraste! You are human… you can't be a saint all the time. You are in love with him and there is nothing you can do about it. In fact this makes me feel a lot better really."

Hawke gave the woman a very confused look and went to say something but shut her mouth and thought on it, but shrugged.

"Hawke this means that you know you can move on, with all the things that happened to you, for you to crave the touch of the one you love is nothing but natural," Aveline continued to laugh. "The poor boy probably has no clue what to do with you… AND this explains why he volunteered to keep a watch on you. I mean I thought it weird when he would ask about you… I thought he was worried that you would lose yourself and become an abomination but if that fool's only way of knowing how to be close to you is watching you then I am all for it."

Hawke sighed and shook her head, "That doesn't make me feel any better." She looked over at the fire place that was in the middle of the main wall in the library. "Its like he is torturing himself, maybe he feels guilty for making the wrong choice and sleeping with me… it was his first…" she covered her mouth quickly and shivered as she thought about it.

Aveline's eyes widen, "You took his first time? Oh Hawke…"

"It isn't the same right?" Hawke searched for answers in the carpet, "It isn't like it is for us…right?"

Aveline sighed, "Hawke… was it?"

"Okay look I know stuff and I thought about all the stories that I had heard and read and I thought that it would be this one time and he could leave freely," she was stumbling through her thoughts and words, they weren't really making sense as she tried to explain to Aveline. "I mean I had…"

"Hawke, you initiated your first time?" she was taken back by the boldness of this woman. She had never thought that Hawke hadn't ever, the woman was adventurous and bold, she had always assumed that she was also experimental.

"It was nothing like the stories and it wasn't scary like I thought it would be," Hawke chuckled softly, "It wasn't like those times where I almost got into trouble going off on my own, men scared me Aveline. I had close calls before that were not of my own making and so stayed away from that possibility." She let a breath out through her teeth, "I ignored Anders' advances not just because of my fear of men but because there was nothing I thought could lead me to love him. Isabela well we aren't going there, I still have to fight off her advances, though she wasn't scary in the same sense. Varric has no interest me in that way and so he is not a danger to me… Aveline and you are my close friend. Merill, well she is Merill, a sweet girl who has far too many demons and secrets that I can't help her more then I already am… but Fenris….the wolf…the elf…a man…I don't even know what I was thinking!" She slammed her head into her hands that were being held up by her knees.

"You were thinking you could save him, Hawke, you have this terrible desire to help everyone but yourself and then when others try to help you hide," Aveline shook her head, "You try to make your troubles invisible and chain them close inside. So when he started to open a little you felt you could tell him a little to make him feel like you weren't holding out…" She knew this feeling Donnic had solved a lot of her issues in the same manner, cooling her fears and supporting her ideas and taking her weakness and making them stronger. Aveline now thought on Hawke's situation, she had lost all her pillars of strength being in this cursed city and even then she tried to make everyone else's lives better, putting her own feelings on hold just to make everyone else happy, forgetting that she to was human and could be hurt. "Hawke, you aren't selfish, terrible, you didn't force Fenris to do something he wasn't ready for and you sure as hell don't need to apologize to anyone for the way you are right now. It is time that you took advantage of your position and to get what you want, screw the system and those around us, you have earned the right to have happiness," she raised one hand up fisted up as if cheering for her friend.

"Aveline," Hawke chuckled softly. "The maker seems to enjoy making me see adversity taken care of for other but I seemed to be doomed to the loneliness that has been forced on me." She sighed and hugged the hound tight, "Don't worry I will be okay. I'll let it all go and forget it. I let it all slip away and harden myself again."

Aveline got up quickly walked to her friend. The slapped was fast and hard, the sound caused the hound to growl at her for a moment and when it sensed no danger drifted went back to sleep as it didn't think it was worth getting up for, "Hawke this is not you and if you think that this is the best solution you are terribly mistaken. I believe it was the champion who had dragged the rather scaredy cat captain to admit her feelings, even going so far as to put herself in the middle of it all! That is the woman that is my friend, not this meek little pitiful thing that is curled up before me."

Hawke glared at Aveline and got up as she rubbed her jaw and cheek, it stung terribly now and it would be swollen, "You actually hit me? Aveline if you weren't my friend you would be dead right now, one does not just lay a hand on me! Woman you are lucky that I am like this right now!" She realized her balled up hand had a spell ready to toss, she disrupted the spell with an easy that was actually extremely scary and suddenly tears fell down her cheeks, "Aveline, can I? Can I fall in love? Will it all go away? Will it disappear or be taken away from me like my family?"

Aveline laughed softly like a mother whose child just realized that no matter how many times they get spanked that their mother would always love them, she hugged her friend tightly, "Hawke, you deserve all the love you can get. No worries, I am sure he loves you deeply and as long as you remember that, I am sure that he will realize it himself and return to you. Just be patient my friend. The world is yours for the taking."

Hawke laughed softly and hugged her friend back, "Thanks, I needed that."

"We all need to get smacked once in a while to get out of such a mind set," Aveline let go of Hawke and turned to walk out, "I need to go home. My husband is really worried about you and I will just simply tell him you needed to be hit to get you back in order."

Hawke followed her friend to the door and walked her out to the column that were the marking of the start of her property, "Thanks Aveline. I needed that, would you…"

"Hawke this is our talk and no one needs to know it," Aveline waved as she turned to make her destination back home.

Hawke watched her friend until the woman disappeared into the night. She turned around to return to her own home and as she walked past the benches she noticed there was a book there. She must of left it there earlier in the day, she walked over and grabbed it before returning to the house.

She put the book back in the library and returned to her room. With a bit of surprise she realized that there was a small boutique of wild flowers sitting on her pillow. She looked around to see if her admirer was still there but sighed softly with the knowledge she was alone. She took the flowers and placed them into an empty vase that was on her dresser. It had not been a simple action to break into her home and leave them for her.

"Fenris," she whispered softly and placed a small kiss on one of the flowers, "Just so you know that I love you deeply, I say it to the wind so that the words can be carried to your heart." She got ready for bed, reading lessons were tomorrow and she would need to be as rested as she could be, he would try her patience just to see her reaction and this time she would make him work for her attention so that he knew two could play the pretend game.


End file.
